Free Nonsense

A departmental dance

By Pedro Almeida*

1. I was invited to write an article for the “free nonsense” section, and I accepted carefree and with conviction. And so the nonsense came to me, but the words wouldn’t. To make matters worse, the nonsense is free and I hate Kierkegaard. So I focused on the theme, and didn’t think about it for a few days. I had the theme, so the hard part was done, the writing will just flow, so I thought. But apparently it’s not that easy – and I had already been warned by some of the PhD students writing their dissertations!

Back to the theme. Yes, it’s simple, I thought. It’s got to be the fact that I was just integrated in the Department of Information and Logistics (DIL)–, more specifically in the Management Control area (DIL-CG), where I have been working since 1 June. A few days have now passed since I started working here on the 4th floor, which I consider to be the engine of the INESC Porto machine (I used to be on the 2nd floor at LIAAD); not that I’m counting the days or anything, I mean, I am, but not like a prisoner counts the days by scribbling on the wall. I only do it to stress the fact that my experience in this new trade is still quite incipient.

Because I have worked as a secretary at LIAAD, I already knew this department. I still remember the first time I came into this room and my first impressions. For those of you who don’t know it, the room is covered in coloured files organised by projects, years, types, etc. Other than this perfectly organised world of paper that I still can’t handle properly, there are 10 – now 11 – people working vigorously, and Tiana, the printer in the centre of the room, keeps printing and printing. But it’s mayhem when other people, just like me, come to this labyrinth-like room. There isn’t enough free space. At the time I came here to meet the five “engineers” at DIL-CG - yes, because you’ve got to know a lot of financial engineering to guarantee the maximum eligibility of expenditure at the Institution.

My impression from the beginning was that here people work as a Team, and constantly support and communicate with each other. For those who are here, discharge, consolidation, iterations, margin, overheads, carbon hydrates, are all expressions that we must know and use – I’ve already have my fair share of  carbon hydrates this week, you just have to look at me and see that I’m far ahead in this competition. Now, in the time I have been here I realised that the collaborators at DIL had their own language, which I’m now trying to learn myself. I can safely say that here no one is dragging towards the files, lacking motivation or waiting for the time to pass. There is a certain elegance and confidence in the objectives; it’s a departmental dance I will gladly participate in.

2. I first heard about Billy Pilgrim one day when I was waiting at the CCB (Bombarda Shopping Centre) for my girlfriend to return from the hair salon. At least that’s what I thought we were there for because I didn’t notice any change when she came back. The CCB is the only place where you can read Kurt Vonnegut accompanied by a 0.90€ slice of chocolate cake that wouldn’t fit in the plates of INESC Porto’s cafeteria (at the time I was still at LIAAD and I had no money for carbon hydrates). Billy is the main character of the novel Slaughterhouse-five, a Word War 2 satire about the Dresden bombing which, according to the author, is told in the schizophrenic and telegraphic way of the stories told in planet Tralfamadore. Billy is a confused and fatalist semi-auto-biographical character who has witnessed the Dresden bombing and survived to tell the story. He travels through time and is abducted by aliens from planet Tralfamadore who see everything in four dimensions. I am mentioning this novel for two reasons. The first is obviously a presumptuous effort to make my text better by mentioning one of the greatest novels on earth. The other reason is because I’ve spent the last month thinking about Billy. So it goes.

*Collaborator at the Department of Information and Logistics (DIL) – Management Control