Offside
Limelight

Mauro Rosa, Augustin Olivier and Aníbal Matos

Have your say

"The clock is ticking and others in the world are not only ahead of us but moving faster. This is an opportunity that INESC Porto and the University of Porto should not miss if they want to be on the map", Ricardo Morla

Free Nonsense

"After several sleepless nights, I decided to demystify a theme that the media haven’t really been paying enough attention: Influenza A Virus", Nelson Rodrigues

Gallery of the Uncommon

“Similarly to what happened with the Portuguese Budget a few years, the answer to the mystery that took INESC Porto by surprise this Christmas was… cheese! Who would have thought?”

Jobs 4 the Boys & Girls

In this section, the reader may find reference to public announcements made by INESC Porto offering grants, contracts and other opportunities of the same kind.

Biptoon

More scenes of how life goes merrily on...

 
 

Free Nonsense

Free Nonsense

 “Influenza A Virus!? Never heard of it”

By Nelson Rodrigues*

When I was challenged to write an article for the “Free Nonsense” section of BIP, I immediately started imagining the possible themes that could captivate the attention of the heterogeneous group of BIP readers. Several topics came to my mind, which I quote: the “thermal and climatic” conditions of INESC Porto’s building, how leisure spaces at the workplace could increase productivity, the impact of social networks in today’s society, my plan to go to U2’s concert without a ticket, the stagnation of European politics, the French dictatorship on the use of the Internet, redheads and pandas, the United States health plan, football, or I could simply tell you a bit more about myself. After several sleepless nights, I decided to demystify a theme that the media haven’t really been paying enough attention: Influenza A Virus. 

No one can say for sure which is the origin of the virus: a simple evolution of the flu virus, the direct transmission of the animal virus to the human being or a simple mistake from a laboratory. Without a shadow of doubt, my favourite is the Hollywoodesque conspiracy theory, which says that the virus was intentionally created by conspiracy of world governments to achieve an ethnic cleansing. Honestly, at this stage, it really doesn’t matter that much. The panic is set. Those manifesting symptoms of the flue are singled out and booed the same way an impure sinner would be on the streets during the Inquisition. And so I warn you: since the Portuguese are known for being inherently wise guys, I’m sure that plenty individuals coughed and sneezed compulsively at the shopping lines during the Christmas season so that everyone would let them pass.

Every day I bitterly regret not having bought shares from companies that manufacture hand sanitizers and protection masks. This revealed an incredible lack of insight on my part. However, this was one of the positive aspects of this flu – the population became aware of how flu is transmitted and is demonstrating more civility by disinfecting theirs hands more regularly. 

Luckily, the vaccine that will save us from this awful illness has already been found. But once more I was upset with myself because again I lost the opportunity to buy shares in the pharmaceutical industry. Confessions apart, I was glad to know that our government bought three million vaccine units, thus guaranteeing, if I’m not mistaken, the survival of individuals within groups of risk and other important personalities in our country. And so an enormous angst was born inside of me when I realised I wasn’t on that list. Therefore, I suggest that the vaccination of our parliament members is carried out on a Friday afternoon or when they gather to watch the DVD of the best moments of the TV show “Esmiúça os Sufrágios” (which means “going to the bottom of the elections”). Those who didn't show up for their vaccination on time would simply miss the opportunity. The remaining vaccines should be randomly distributed among the common citizens at The Price is Right TV show. And while I don’t have the opportunity to get my shot, I just have to understand the measures and procedures to be taken in case I get contaminated with the Influenza A Virus. What drew my attention the most was the possibility of working remotely. Due to my short work experience, my head was flooded with an immense confusion. Does that mean I can work at home? Even better, can I go to a cosy coffee shop to drink a hot lemon tea with honey or even go to the shopping lines and organise my emails with a mobile device? Well, I guess the answers will come with the future.

I am glad to see that Portugal has registered a low number of victims. My explanation for that has to do with the fact that our ancestors used to travel a lot during the maritime Discoveries. We may have lost an empire, but we have gained precious genetic information.

I hope I have made justice to the theme “Free Nonsense” by speaking in a more relaxed tone on a pretty serious theme. I would like to leave a warning, however, to those who think that no flu can catch them. The virus is here to stay and there’ll be more to come next year.

Finally, I would like to thank all members of my Unit – USIG – for the camaraderie spirit. And if this year, for some random reason, Benfica wins a title, if I may make a comparison, USIG is perfectly capable of winning the football tournament of INESC Porto.

*Collaborator at the Information and Computer Graphics Unit (USIG)